Throughout history, men have been termed as the “superior sex” because of their physical strength, resilience to harsh conditions, and endurance of physical hardship. While most men know the importance of physical health, not all are aware of the connection between physical and mental health.
Research has shown that depression can co-occur with other medical illnesses such as terminal diseases. Further research has also found evidence that stress, emotional distress, anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder can all weaken the immune system and disrupt the balance of hormones in the body.
“The only journey is the journey within,” as Rainer Maria Rilke poignantly puts it. This saying resonates deeply with the often-overlooked reality that men’s mental health is not just a matter of external circumstances but a deeply personal and internal struggle. I’ve realized that the stigma surrounding this topic is more than just a result of societal expectations but also a reflection of the immense disconnect many guys feel from their emotions and inner lives.
According to Mental Health America, June is recognized as Men’s Mental Health Month. People are becoming more open about their mental health, and we’re all learning better ways to support each other. However, men’s mental health is underreported, with men not reaching out for the support they need. That’s where Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month comes in, bringing attention to men’s mental health.
It is important to recognize that men’s mental health is an important issue but also a societal one. These societal norms have discouraged men from seeking help. Phrases like “Man up”, “Men don’t cry”, “Mwanaume ni kuvumilia”, and many others reinforce the belief that emotional vulnerability is a sign of weakness and doesn’t make you a man.
We have to admit that we have come a long way as a society when it comes to talking about mental health in general. Unfortunately, men still find it difficult to talk about the matter openly; this remains a key issue. Why is it embarrassing to seek mental health care than to get treatment for a broken bone?
Mental health is just as important as physical health, but the question still remains, ‘Why do men find it difficult to reach out for help?’ This remains a big problem for men and society.
- Top court supports ‘wellness’, mental health programmes in Zambia
- Why mindfulness and meditation help us cope with the world
- Alarm over rising cases of suicide among Kenyan men
Raising awareness on this matter requires acknowledging the reality no matter how uncomfortable it is. It is one thing to say that mental health is just as important as physical health, but it is much more difficult to accept and internalize.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, mental health conditions are more common among women than men, but this may be because men aren’t opening up and reaching out. And while 51.7% of women with a mental health condition in 2021 received support from mental health services, only 40% of men with a mental health condition did.
Not only that, but the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says the suicide rate among males in 2021 was around four times higher than the suicide rate among females. The organization also says men make up almost 80% of all suicides. Men may also be more likely to engage in substance misuse in place of mental health care.
According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 7% of men have a drinking disorder, compared to 4% of females. Men often drink excessively as a way of self-medicating from depression or whenever they are going through something.
When all goes wrong, they go out either alone or with their friends to drink alcohol to help them with what they are going through instead of talking it out with them. What they forget is that’s only a temporary solution because as soon as the alcohol wears off, they are back to where they were.
While women are termed as “emotional” and “oversensitive”, men are encouraged not to talk about their problems. Women are more communicative about mental health and are able to talk about their feelings with their friends easily rather than resorting to other solutions.
The majority of men don’t ask for help even when they show common signs like anxiety, depression, or anxiety. When they are asked why they keep quiet, the biggest reasons cited were: “Sasa niki kuambia utanisaidia aje”, “I’ve learned to deal with it.”
Male friendships typically wield significant influence over the mental health of men. These friendships that are typically fostered since childhood are the bane of most men’s existence. These relationships often shape essential social and emotional skills. While they do evolve over a period of time due to cultural, societal, and personal factors, they leave a significant impression in the formative years of a man.
Traditionally, male friendships frequently center around activities rather than emotional support or intimacy. Amidst the clinking of beer bottles and jovial banter while watching sports on a Saturday night out lies an unspoken code to uphold the façade of strength and bravado.
Moreover, the competitive dynamics between male friend groups also play a role in shaping their mental health. The desire for dominance in male groups is subtle but most of the time very palpable.
Whether it be discussion is about career achievements, financial breakthroughs, physical appearance, or even women, this constant comparison fuels a constant feeling of insecurity and inadequacy for men who feel lesser than their peers.
This results in superficial connections that lack emotional depth. How can they improve their mental health? How can we help them improve their mental health? If a fellow man cannot open up to his peers, how then do we navigate Mental health issues among them?
While Men’s Mental Health Month is important, we should consider talking about it all year round. Breaking down the stigma surrounding men’s mental health is important for promoting a safe environment for open discussions and raising awareness.
As a society, we should end the “men ni kuvumilia” culture and adopt the “it’s okay not to be okay” mindset.
— By Barbara Owano Lubukha and Hilda Wanjiku
Email your news TIPS to Editor@nairobilawmonthly.com, and to advertise with us, call +254715061658 anytime of the day
